Part 3 of 3 x F: Fight Fly Freeze. Challenging situation at work/college, how to deal with it?
Updated: Feb 13
This is Part 3 of the Sensitive and Difficult, and quite often avoided Subject: Work Harassment.
R E A L S T O R I E S
There is no real names but facts are real. Small facts. Not big ones. There are no scandals here.
Stories had been observed, experienced by others, shared with me face to face over the 5 countries in Europe, where I used to work from almost 20 years of my working experiences in various areas of business.
Always has a purpose in what you do.
My purpose is when happens, look for solutions and after release, let go, turn the page. Forgive.
They do not actually happened to me directly because as you already know by 1st and 2nd part, I would never aloud this to happen me or none close to me. If anything ever was even slightly going in the incorrect direction, I stud for myself before was too late, professionally, diplomatically or straight forward and direct, depends of specific situation and taken the appropriate strategy into account.
I do believe stories like those should be exposed and we should learnt from them. Some of those stories even happened between management itself. Harassment is not always because of hierarchy. Quite often is nothing to do with the climbing leader, higher or lower position in the work place.
Harassment always is based on the internal problems and all about lack of implementation and/or understanding of the company's mission and values.
IF THE MISSION AND VALUES ARE MISSING there is no structure to which employees and employers should apply to.
Correct structure of attitude to each other, certain good and healthy rules should be applied.
If not, if the unhealthy personas meet more vulnerable, they usually use the power and instead of professional place to work, the work environment become playground, where certain personalities, mostly very childish grownups, miss behave.
There is no place for actual Fight, verbal or physical.
Fight for the own rights should always be professional and on the highest level of co-operation regardless the situation.
Throwing to each other eyes', sand is not solution at all.
Harassment on regular basics happens mostly because of the stress, the lack of solving personal issues, increasing faults in the work structure, low project and team management skills, which impact work day to day life of everyone.
Those stories show the scenarios and the solution taken into account.
How about myself?
I have not really experience myself. Mostly party, by observing others. With my personality it will be very hard to bully me. So none really tried. But I will always stand for others and try my best when and only when I am directly involve, solve the issues first directly with the leaders or HR Managers and this was part of my long journey.
If anything happened to me directly, I had always approached the find solution and make it work.
Below stories happened for real. Small stories and a little bigger one. Nothing huge.
Names are changed for the purpose of privacy. It is not about exposing anyone here, as it is always about learning only on given examples to overcome together any challenge, even unpleasant in respectful way and with good manners.
"If I still see the moon and stars above me, nothing in my life will worry me."
"None of these things affect me... (Cf. Acts 20, 24)" in longer term as there are a great lesson to always be aware and to always build trust with time and stand for yourself and others when is needed.
First let's understand what actually means WORK HARASSMENT by looking at the words descriptions.
Let's look at meaning of harassment.
Let's look at meaning of bully.
Let's look at meaning of humiliation.
And now decide: Should I stay, Should I go? Should I let it go? Sometimes the best is to stop fighting and move on. The war always take so much energy, time, and so on and do bring waste too. You decide what is the best for you.
Work what matters
Do what matters
Design what matters
Code what matters
Lead what matters
Manage what matters
Direct what matters
Execute what matters
Collaborate what matters
Co-create what matters
Cooperate what matters